Scrub The Mess Off The Message

This long-awaited procrastinated journal piece is a perfect example of how writing does not come easy for me and usually takes a while for me to get around to. I've been less than inspired and my motivation has ranked even lower. However, I captioned a selfie the other day and it gave me a small nudge - so I brought it here.

"My positive momentum packed up and left with my peace. I imagine they're traveling together and plan to return with souvenirs like motivation, creativity, and discipline. I've got self-trust and wisdom on my wishlist (maybe a birkin too - not the bag). So, Universe, let em' know."

This was (and still is) comforting because it was written effortlessly and made me realize all these dreadful feelings I've been experiencing lately are temporary, just like the good ones. I literally imagined my motivation, creativity, and discipline backpacking together with little sticks and pouches over their shoulders for luggage, shopping for my souvenirs in gift shops full of positivity. They were cute and made me giggle. Their presentation upon return with my wishlist items and more was beyond exciting and the thought of it all may have provoked happy tears. I'm really working these manifestation skills, okay?

Anyway, today I was reminded that the only constant is change, and I need to get comfortable with that (again). Even more comfortable with the fact that shit can hit like a ton of bricks to the face, one by one, however long it takes, and I just need to roll with it. I know it's all lessons and love for me to discover as I scrub the mess off the message. I'm transmuting my way through an intense transformation. I'm learning what the new me needs and I am not settling for anything less than. I'm setting boundaries and loving myself loudly.

Truth is, I've done a whole lot of isolating. It feels like I'll be recovering from this last Mercury retrograde at least until the next one. A lot happened, like, a whole bunch of bricks to the face at one time. The emotional experiences have physically manifested at this point and I just want to gain back some control of my life. I typed that and my subconscious was like "nah fam, you need to surrender". I do, and I'm trying. My ego just keeps getting in the way.

So, I'm committed to healing and doing what's best for me. That will be lots of journaling, summer reading, sunshine, using my voice, setting boundaries, loving my body, and so much more. I want to rise up from the murky mess with a glow that will help light your way too. I'm not even sure any of this will make sense to anyone else, but I think sharing some things in this space will be part of my healing. I'm sending you love, and if any of this resonates with you, I'm sending you extra.

Go Make Love To You,

Vada Potata

P.S. - I got my Birkin and named her Birtha.

Maureen Shares Her Magic

We had the opportunity to get little personal with one of our most badass radical self lovers. She is the author of Press Pause: The Breakdown that Rebuilt My Life and Changed a Family Legacy. In her book she shares traumas from her past as she unpacks the sexual and physical abuse she endured in her past. Her courage, strength, and bravery are undeniably admirable. If you're in the mood for a book you can't put down, this is the one. Maureen has been an active member in the GML2U community since 2019, and we are thrilled to share her magic!

1. What does self-love mean to you?

For me, self love means giving myself permission to be imperfect. I tried my entire life to be the perfect daughter, spouse, mom, friend...and it took a nervous breakdown for me to understand that no one is perfect. I learned to appreciate my journey through this life, and find a way to forgive the mistakes I've made (and, continue to make) in order to make myself available to others who struggle. Self love is the ability to actually believe I can, I will and I am worthy.

2. What do you love about yourself?

Well, if I can totally have a vain moment, I LOVE my hair...lolol! I love my laugh and I love my heart.

3. How do you express your love for yourself?

I learned to say no to the things that I know will hurt me, and I have learned to set boundaries for myself.

4. What challenges have you encountered on your self-love journey?

Believing I am a good woman and that saying no doesn't make me a bad person. Asking others to respect my feelings always felt wrong, like I was meant to only serve the needs of others. I learned some very harsh lessons that way.

5. How did you overcome those challenges?

For me, I had to face every fear and every trauma, put it in the middle of the room, acknowledge it and then use some very important skills I was fortunate to learn to let it all go. I work every single day to keep myself happy and true to who I am. It's like the AA program for the soul. Trauma is addictive; living in chaos becomes the only thing you know so when things begin to get hard, you gravitate toward the chaos the way an alcoholic gravitates toward alcohol. You have to be mindful that the work is necessary to overcome the temptation to just fall back into old habits. I do the work. I walk through every fear. And, I don't look back.