This long-awaited procrastinated journal piece is a perfect example of how writing does not come easy for me and usually takes a while for me to get around to. I've been less than inspired and my motivation has ranked even lower. However, I captioned a selfie the other day and it gave me a small nudge - so I brought it here.
"My positive momentum packed up and left with my peace. I imagine they're traveling together and plan to return with souvenirs like motivation, creativity, and discipline. I've got self-trust and wisdom on my wishlist (maybe a birkin too - not the bag). So, Universe, let em' know."
This was (and still is) comforting because it was written effortlessly and made me realize all these dreadful feelings I've been experiencing lately are temporary, just like the good ones. I literally imagined my motivation, creativity, and discipline backpacking together with little sticks and pouches over their shoulders for luggage, shopping for my souvenirs in gift shops full of positivity. They were cute and made me giggle. Their presentation upon return with my wishlist items and more was beyond exciting and the thought of it all may have provoked happy tears. I'm really working these manifestation skills, okay?
Anyway, today I was reminded that the only constant is change, and I need to get comfortable with that (again). Even more comfortable with the fact that shit can hit like a ton of bricks to the face, one by one, however long it takes, and I just need to roll with it. I know it's all lessons and love for me to discover as I scrub the mess off the message. I'm transmuting my way through an intense transformation. I'm learning what the new me needs and I am not settling for anything less than. I'm setting boundaries and loving myself loudly.
Truth is, I've done a whole lot of isolating. It feels like I'll be recovering from this last Mercury retrograde at least until the next one. A lot happened, like, a whole bunch of bricks to the face at one time. The emotional experiences have physically manifested at this point and I just want to gain back some control of my life. I typed that and my subconscious was like "nah fam, you need to surrender". I do, and I'm trying. My ego just keeps getting in the way.
So, I'm committed to healing and doing what's best for me. That will be lots of journaling, summer reading, sunshine, using my voice, setting boundaries, loving my body, and so much more. I want to rise up from the murky mess with a glow that will help light your way too. I'm not even sure any of this will make sense to anyone else, but I think sharing some things in this space will be part of my healing. I'm sending you love, and if any of this resonates with you, I'm sending you extra.
Go Make Love To You,
P.S. - I got my Birkin and named her Birtha.